Lawyers love to argue, no one will deny that, and one argument that wouldn’t sustain any objections is that it’s probably the occupation that people make the most jokes about. Everyone loves to hate lawyers, but also without objection everyone loves to laugh. It’s quite possible that there are as many lawyers as there are jokes about them, and as many bad lawyer jokes as there are bad lawyers. Let’s face it, the only problem with the jokes, good or bad, is the lawyers don’t think they’re funny and people don’t think they’re jokes. Even if you find some in contempt, our only intention is to make you laugh. So in closing, we would like to present to you, and completely at the expense of lawyers everywhere, this compilation of legal humor that we hope will make you laugh and won’t judge us too harshly for.
Even Lawyers Need Love
Lawyers work long hours which doesn’t leave them much time to socialize or date, a few drinks and a quick hook-up is all their busy schedules often leave time for, and judging by some of these pick-up lines they’ll try to seal the deal anyway they can, there’s no accounting for taste, but if any of these actually worked on you then maybe it’s time to cut down on the tequila shots. Here’s 10 queso supremes that will either find you in contempt, or get you called into their chambers for a quick de-briefing.
- Are you my lawyer? Because you should be screwing me.
- Girl, I can sustain an objection for almost four hours.
- Are you pro-bono or just happy to see me?
- Did it hurt…when you fell from heaven? Because I know a good personal injury lawyer.
- Hey baby, let’s go back to my place and practice some lateral equality.
- Hey handsome, I hear you’re of good fame and character. Just disclothes, and I’ll admit you.
- I need someone to look through these briefs.
- I’ll teach you about jurisdiction, if we change the venue to my place.
- Is your estate subject to open?
- You want to approach the bench and badger my witness?
If any of the following jokes cause you personal injury from excessive laughing or eye-rolling there’s not much we can do, our only advice is to laugh it off. However, being injured in an accident is no laughing matter and you can call us for a free consultation. We’re no joke.